Coping with death and grief as a healthcare worker

People who work in healthcare often deal with death, dying and bereavement as part of their job.

This does not make it easier to deal with grief.

You may not 'get used to' death and dying. But you can find ways to cope with your grief.

Professional grief and personal grief

You may have:

• personal grief - when someone in your personal life or community dies
• professional grief - when someone at work dies, such as a colleague, patient or client

Coping with personal grief after bereavement or loss

Dealing with a death at work

You may often work in a busy and challenging environment.

Sometimes you may set aside your emotions to be able to help others or work under pressure.

But it’s important to look after yourself as well as others when you are affected by a death. It is OK to grieve.

Grieving can help you:

• acknowledge the death (accept it has happened)
• allow yourself to feel sadness and other emotions
• acknowledge the help and support you gave the person who died and their family
• talk with someone you trust about the death and how you feel
• ask for support if you need it
• find healthy ways to cope and look after your mental health

It can help to:

• eat well
• limit alcohol
• get enough sleep
• keep active

Be kind and patient with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to feel or react after a bereavement or loss. Everyone copes with grief in different ways.

Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic caused a new and difficult experience for many healthcare workers.

You may have been exposed to more death, illness and distress than usual. Or you may not have been able to use your usual coping strategies.

You may have:

• spent more time with dying patients when their families could not be there
• felt pressure to return to work after a death before you were ready
• continued to work after a colleague died in service
• been distanced or felt isolated from your friends, family or support network outside work
• had no time or space to grieve
• put the needs of other people who were grieving before your own needs

If you are affected by any of these situations you can ask for support from your manager, colleagues or Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) contact.

Supporting colleagues who are grieving

It can feel difficult or awkward to talk about death and grief with colleagues. Many people avoid the subject.

But you do not need specialist knowledge about bereavement to help a colleague. A simple and compassionate approach often helps.

To support a colleague you can:

• acknowledge the death and its impact - with a simple expression of sympathy in person, by phone or as a written message
• listen to them when they need it
• offer support in a sensitive way - find out what resources and support are available in your workplace
• ask how you can help
• check in with them again - sometimes people may need space or privacy at first

People experience grief in different ways. Feelings of grief can come and go unexpectedly. Try to avoid judging someone if they react to a death in a different way than you would.

Supporting someone who is grieving

Grief and stress

Grief following a death can be hidden or unrecognised.

This can happen if you:

• had to cope with a lot of losses in a short time without time to grieve (sometimes called bereavement overload)
• were taught to set aside your emotions to work effectively
• feel that it is not professional to show emotion at work
• are affected by death that you cannot talk about or is viewed with stigma
• are affected by death related to a critical incident or traumatic event
• are feeling a loss of confidence or feelings of failure

Keeping grief hidden can lead to ongoing stress. You may have physical symptoms such as fatigue, nightmares and sleep loss. This can affect your personal life and professional life.

Information and support

Ask your employer if they offer an employee assistance programme (EAP). EAP services provide confidential support for employees on personal and work-related issues.

To order and download leaflets on grief:

1. Visit healthpromotion.ie
2. From the Search by topic list, select 'Bereavement'.

Information for HSE staff

Find out more about:

• HSE Employee Assistance Programme (EAP)
• critical incident stress management (CISM) for HSE staff

Irish Hospice Foundation courses

The Irish Hospice Foundation (IHF) has free courses on:

• acute hospitals and workplace grief
• nursing homes and workplace grief

Healthcare workers and grief video