Things you can do to help yourself if you self harm

Finding ways to prevent or distract yourself from self-harm may help you get through a difficult moment.

It's also important to get the right support and treatment to help with what is causing you to self-harm.

It can feel like a big step to talk to someone you do not know about your feelings or experiences. But with support it may feel easier to make changes that help reduce or stop your self-harm.

How to tell someone you self-harm

Getting help

Urgent help

Get urgent help for a mental health crisis or emergency

Ways to avoid self-harm

Do

try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, trained volunteer or health professional
try to work out if feeling a certain way leads you to self-harm - then you can try and release that emotion in a safer way
write down your feelings - to share with someone you trust, or just keep for yourself
try to delay yourself with distraction techniques
make sure you are around other people
remove any objects or items from around you that could be used to self-harm
try to reduce feelings of anxiety by doing breathing exercises or other things you find relaxing
read about mental health and wellbeing - including help for common feelings such as stress, anxiety and depression
take care of yourself by eating healthily and being active
if you have thoughts of suicide, it may help to make a safety plan to use if you need it

Understand, distract, delay

If you can understand your patterns of self-harm, you may discover certain triggers. This can then help you to delay self-harm, and stop over time.

Understand

Keep a journal where you write about and reflect on self-harm. This can help you to better understand the patterns.

Learn to recognise your triggers. Triggers are what give you the urge to hurt yourself. They could be people, situations, thoughts or feelings.

Recognising your triggers and urges helps you take steps towards reducing or stopping self-harm. Try writing down what you notice about your urges, to help you spot them more quickly each time they come.

If you feel an urge to self-harm, you might:

have a racing heart
have a feeling of heaviness
feel intense emotional pain
be physically restless
have a sense of panic
feel disconnected from yourself or have a loss of sensation
have repetitive thoughts - for example, "I'm going to cut"
make unhealthy decisions, like working too hard to avoid feelings

Distract

If you feel like you want to self-harm, try to distract yourself. This may allow some time for your feelings or urges to become less intense, or go away for a while.

Distract yourself when you feel the urge, or as soon as you are aware that you're hurting yourself.

Ways to distract yourself include:

going out for a walk
listening to music
doing something else harmless to keep you busy

There are more things you can do. What to do depends on your feelings and why you have the urge to self-harm.

To distract yourself from self-harming if you feel angry:

listen to loud music
write on paper why you are angry and scrunch it into a ball
tear paper into pieces
squeeze a rubber ball or toy
clench and relax your muscles
hit a cushion or a pillow

To distract yourself if you feel afraid, low, down or sad:

listen to soothing music
record your feelings - on paper, an app, video or audio
cuddle a pet or soft toy
wrap up in a cosy jumper or blanket
phone or message someone you care about
go somewhere you find soothing for a walk - and bring someone with you
cry
do breathing exercises
do relaxation exercises
take a nap

To distract yourself if you feel you need to be in control:

tidy up, declutter or re-organise your living space
record your feelings, tear it up or delete it and record ways you could challenge these feelings
play a game on your smartphone
do gardening or plant seeds
do something creative

To reconnect with your senses, if you feel numb:

breathe in a strong smell
splash water on your face
feel the air on your face by opening a window or going outdoors
hold objects with different textures and make note of how they feel
mark the area of your body you want to harm with a plaster or by drawing on it
massage the area of your body you want to harm
practice mindfulness

Self-harm alternatives and distraction techniques - spunout.ie

Delay

It may feel difficult to imagine stopping self-harming completely. It can help to find ways to delay self-harm instead.

Try to put off harming yourself until you've spoken to someone else or waited for 5, 10 or 15 minutes. You could also do some distraction techniques in this time. See if you can extend it for another 15 minutes after that. Continue until the feeling passes.

Slowly increase how long you commit to delaying self-harm and the amount of time before you next self-harm, if you can. This might help you feel you are in control.

Some people find the urge passes if they wait for long enough.

Releasing energy or feelings

It's difficult to get strong evidence of what works for people to stop self-harming. What works for one, may not work for another.

You could create a list of other ways of dealing with your emotions, to replace self-harm.

There are some things you can try to cope with overwhelming emotions.

Do

talk to someone such as a trusted friend or an organisation you can contact at anytime
write about your thoughts and feelings in a journal, for example on paper or on a smartphone or tablet
identify the emotion you are experiencing - naming your emotions can reduce their intensity
exercise to use up excess energy
scream or sing at the top of your lungs, on your own or to music - do this into a pillow if you do not want other people to hear
try yoga or meditation - these can help to reduce anxiety
cry - this is a healthy and normal way to express your sadness or frustrations