All babies cry and some cry more than others. It's normal for them to cry. Crying is their way of communicating with you.
Every baby is different. There is no right or wrong way to be with your baby. There is only what works for you both today.
It can take time to figure out why your baby is crying. Sometimes there may be no obvious reason why. But it can help to always check the basics. For example, check if they're hungry or need their nappy changed.
As time goes by, you'll know more about what helps and does not help. This will give you more confidence in caring for your baby. The early weeks can be tiring, but will pass.
Things to try
Things you can try to soothe your baby include:
- offering your breast (if you breastfeed) - some babies want to suck more when they are going through a growth spurt (this normally only lasts 24 hours)
- using an upright feeding position, such as the Koala hold
- using paced bottle-feeding if your bottle-fed baby is hungry - they may drink too quickly if stressed
- talking or singing in a calm tone - your baby knows your voice and this may comfort them
- gently holding your baby in different positions to see which they prefer
- doing skin-to-skin contact with your baby
- gently touching or rocking your baby
- giving them a soother (if they use one) - some babies may have an urge to suck
- playing gentle music
- using background noise, such as a vacuum cleaner, washing machine or radio or TV channel with people talking
- going for a walk or drive if they like movement
- giving them a warm bath - this can calm some babies instantly
Soothing a crying baby (video)
If soothing is not working
It is understandable if you feel stressed.
It will help your baby if you:
- take a few deep breaths to try to feel calm
- remind yourself that your baby is having a tough time and needs your help
If you are able to remain calm, it will help your baby to calm. Both you and your baby may need a rest.
Rest
It can be very stressful trying to calm a crying baby. Sometimes our efforts to soothe babies can actually lead them to cry more. This may be because they are overtired.
Try laying your baby down on a mat beside you. This will give them a chance to move their body, which can help if they are overstimulated. Watch to see if this makes a difference. It may help them to calm.
It could also help if you turn down the lights and reduce noise.
Colic
If your baby cries a lot, they may have colic.
Colic is crying that:
- begins and ends for no obvious reason
- lasts at least 3 hours a day
- happens at least 3 days a week
- continues for 3 weeks to 3 months
Colic is temporary and should resolve with time. Talk to your GP if you are unsure and concerned about your baby's crying.
When to see your GP if you cannot soothe your baby
Non-urgent advice: Contact your GP or public health nurse if:
- your baby is crying constantly, or if their cry sounds different to normal - this may be a sign they're sick
- your baby's crying is making it hard for you to bond with them
- they only cry around feeding times
- your baby is not gaining weight
- you're not coping or feel unable to soothe your baby
Never shake your baby. This is very dangerous and can cause brain damage.
Urgent advice: Phone your GP urgently if:
- you have thoughts of hurting your baby
These thoughts are frightening. But talking about them can help.
Your GP will not judge you. They will help you.
Looking after yourself
It's normal to feel stressed as you try to figure out what your baby needs when they cry.
If you can, ask someone to take your baby for a few minutes. Leave the room for a short break.
Your public health nurse or GP are there to support you.
Contact them if you:
- are alone a lot when trying to soothe your baby and you feel you are not coping
- need help with stress