Sometimes your child might bite other children or an adult. This is quite common.
Why children bite
Your child might bite because they:
- want to express a strong feeling and do not know how to tell you - for example, if they are angry
- need more personal space
- are teething and are in pain
- want to get attention
- want to see what kind of a reaction they will get
What to do if a child bites
After a child bites, be aware of your own feelings. Count to 10 or take a few deep breaths before you respond.
If another child has been bitten, soothe them first then speak to the child who bit. Keep eye contact and talk calmly.
If they can tell you what happened ask them to retell the story. If you saw what triggered the biting you can describe it. For example, "Jake took your ball, you felt angry, and you bit Jake. I cannot let you hurt Jake, biting is not OK."
You can describe what the child could do if it happens again. For example, they could play with another toy, or come ask you for help.
After the biting, do not make the children play again together unless they want to. It can help to suggest activities that do not require sharing, such as sand and water play. These may give the children a chance to relax.
Try to respond consistently to biting incidents, until the child learns to express themselves in different ways.
How to prevent biting
As your child grows older they will learn that biting others is not acceptable and can hurt another child.
You can help prevent biting by:
- watching how your child behaves when they’re around other children
- being aware of the situations that might trigger biting and be ready to help your child deal with their emotions
- seeing what might trigger the biting - for example, are they hungry, tired or overwhelmed
- praising them when they play nicely with other children by using words to describe what you see - for example, "Oh, that was nice of you to share the ball with Jake, well done for sharing"
- naming their emotions as you see them happen - for example, "I can see you're becoming frustrated, annoyed or sad - let's work this out together"
Tips to help stop a child biting
Do
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stay close to them in new situations or when you know that a trigger might influence their behaviour
-
quickly distract them with a book or toy
-
give them a cool teething ring if you think they are teething
-
clear space for them if you think they need more personal space
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help them to share - an egg timer can be a useful way to show how long they can have a toy
Find out more about your child's social, emotional and behavioural development
Non-urgent advice: Talk to a GP if:
- your child continues to bite other people
They can give you advice and refer your child for more support if needed.