Helping your child with additional needs return to school

Going back to school after a break can be a stressful time for families.

The stress can continue until you and your child get back into a school routine.

Managing your stress

It is important to recognise and manage your own stress during this change in your child’s life. Stress can affect your health, mood and how you function.

Take time to think about the best ways for you to cope if things get overwhelming.

If you feel stressed, it can help to talk to a friend or family member about how you feel.

Tips and self-help for coping with stress

Helping your child manage anxiety and fear

There are things you can do to help your child manage their anxiety and fear.

Normalise the situation

Tell your child that it is normal to feel worried when things are uncertain.

Empathise with them

Explore your child's anxious thoughts. Acknowledge how these thoughts are making them feel. Try to correct any misconceptions they may have, in a sensitive way.

Keep them informed

Share information with your child, in an age-appropriate way. Use reliable sources. Social stories can be a helpful, child-friendly way of sharing this information.

Online resources at the National Council for Special Education - ncse.ie

Social stories tip sheet - betterstart.ie

Help them define their worries

Help your child to explore things that may not happen and problems that can be solved.

For example, they may not know what day they will do art. Tell them you could contact the school to ask for a timetable. Ask them to help write an email.

Help them problem-solve

Help them to solve a problem, step by step.

When your child worries about things that may not happen, help them take a break by doing something they enjoy.

Postpone 'what if' worries

If your child starts to worry about ‘what ifs’, remind them to think about what they know for sure, at that time. Suggest they put other worries on hold.

Identify triggers

Pay attention to what keeps your child focused on their worries and try to reduce this.

If it's outside their control

Help them let go of any worries that they have no control over.

Focus on the positives

Help your child focus on positive things and things they enjoy at school. For example, their favourite activities.

Create a routine

Having structure and being predictable can have a positive impact on a child’s anxiety levels.

For example, having routines around sleep, mealtimes, physical activity, preferred activities and time with family.

General tips for problem-solving

Try to solve problems step by step. Some people like to use the IDEAL learning model for effective problem-solving.

I - Identify the problem

Be clear on what the problem is. For example, mornings before school might feel stressful because your child finds it hard to get organised or ready on time.

D - Define your goals

Ask yourself what you want to happen? For example, do you want your child to get ready for school with fewer arguments or reminders.

Think about whose goal this really is - yours, your child’s or both. If it is not your child’s goal, they are less likely to engage with it.

Setting clear goals helps you focus on solutions that really work for your child and family.

E - Explore possible solutions

Explore solutions that might work for everyone.

For example, your child could lay out their clothes the night before. They could organise their school bag after homework every day.

A - Action

Choose and use a solution. For example, you might decide to develop a visual schedule for your family's morning routine.

Involving your child in the plan helps them have ownership and confidence. Each family member can add in the things that are important to them.

Let the children draw their own schedules or take photos of themselves completing certain tasks.

L - Learn from your actions

After a trial period, check if the solution is working. If not, go through the process again.

It may be that your initial goal:

• had too many steps
• was too ambitious
• was implemented in different ways by you or others
• was not fully agreed on by everybody

You can learn from this.

To make your plan more specific, you could:

• set goals
• agree solutions
• agree rewards and supports
• decide on a timeline
• allocate responsibilities
• agree on a timeframe, and then review