How to deal with everyday fears and worries

Day-to-day fears and anxieties are common feelings of worry, nervousness, or unease. You may feel these in response to everyday situations like work, school, college and meeting or talking to people.

These feelings are usually temporary (for a short time). But there are things you can do to help you cope in the meantime.

If you have social anxiety you may need to take a different approach. Get tips on managing anxiety.

Take time out

It's difficult to think clearly when you're filled with fear or worry. The first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down.

Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes. Go for a walk or make a cup of tea. Having a bath can also help calm your mind.

Breathe through panic

If your heart starts beating faster or your palms are sweating, do not fight it.

Stay where you are and notice the worry. Place the palm of your hand on your tummy and breathe slowly and deeply.

The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic. This helps you deal with fear.

Relaxation tips

Panic attacks

Face your fears if you can

Avoiding situations that make you feel scared can stop you from doing things you want or need to do. This can cause you to miss out on life experiences.

Over time, your fears can get worse. This is because you do not have the chance to face your fears and see if the situation is really as bad as you imagine.

If you are too frightened to face the fear, consider a gentler approach. For example, if you are anxious about going shopping, consider parking outside the shop on 1 day and going at a quiet time another day. This way you can slowly build up your confidence.

Remember that anxiety is not harmful

Anxiety can feel overwhelming. You may worry that some signs of anxiety, such as a fast heartbeat, are a symptom of a serious health problem. These concerns can make anxiety and fear worse.

But it’s important to remember that your body’s response to fear is normal. It’s designed to protect you from danger.

If you feel worried about your health, talk to your GP.

Challenge unhelpful thoughts

It can sometimes help to challenge unhelpful thoughts. If you ask yourself the right questions, you can show yourself there is nothing to worry about.

For example, if you’re scared of getting trapped in a lift, you could ask yourself questions like:

• “Have you ever heard of someone getting trapped in a lift?”
• “Does the lift look broken?”
• “Is there any reason to think that if I did get stuck, help would take a long time to arrive?”

Do not try to be perfect

Many people struggle with ‘must’ or ‘should’ thoughts. For example, that life should be perfect, that they should always be calm and that strong people never struggle.

Thinking this way causes more fear and anxiety in the long run. So, remember that life is messy. You don't have to be critical of yourself all the time.

Dealing with stress

Visualise a happy place

Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm.

This could be a picture of:

• you walking on a beautiful beach
• a happy memory from childhood

Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.

Talk about it

Sharing your fears can make them less scary. Try talking to someone about what you’re feeling.

You could also call a helpline like Samaritans.

Email jo@samaritans.ie or freephone: 116 123.

Get the basics right

Living a healthier lifestyle can be very helpful for your mental wellbeing. If you feel healthier, you may find you feel less afraid and anxious.

It’s also a good idea to avoid unhealthy habits. Sometimes people turn to alcohol or drugs to try to reduce their anxiety. But these things only make it worse.

Healthy eating and active living

Self-help for problem alcohol or drug use

Reward yourself

Finally, give yourself a treat when you achieve something despite being afraid.

You could:

• treat yourself to a massage
• have a meal out
• buy a new book or another little gift that makes you happy
• watch a film