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Talk about how you feel

When you're upset, it can help to talk about what you are going through. Talking to someone about what's troubling you can make a big difference to how you feel.

Talking to someone helps you to look at things in a different way and to find solutions. Have a cup of tea with someone who cares for you, or give them a call, and let them know you are not okay.

Talking things out can help lessen worry and reassure you that there is a better or different way forward.

You don't have to appear to be strong or to try to struggle through things by yourself.

Ask for help

Sometimes, you may expect that those close to you should know you aren't feeling good. You might feel that they should notice what you're going through. But, they may not have noticed or they might be waiting for you to ask, not wanting to interfere.

If you communicate your feelings to them, people are often willing to help out a friend in need. Your friends or family will be glad you asked. Often, they will feel privileged that you asked them in the first place.

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How to get started

Talking about your feelings is a sign of personal strength. It shows that you are able to take control of your life. But, it can be difficult to know how to start a conversation about your feelings or worries.

Find the right moment for the conversation as you want to have time to talk and not be interrupted.

You might find it easier to start the conversation when you are doing something else. For example, out for a walk or doing the dishes together.

What to say

It's okay to start off by saying you have been going through a tough time. Describe what you've been thinking and feeling.

It's normal to feel nervous. You might find it hard to talk to others about your feelings and experiences.

You may worry about how people will react. But, when you let someone know you need their help, they will often respond well.

Don't give up

If you've tried to talk to someone and things didn't improve for you, don't give up.

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Talking about your feelings

Write it down

You can also write down how you feel. This may help make the words clearer in your mind. Writing down your worries can have a two-fold effect:

  • the act of writing itself can be a therapeutic release
  • seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper allows you to confront them and find ways to deal with them

Often when written down, it is also easier to put some perspective on your feelings.

Who to talk to

Confide in someone you trust such as your partner, a family member, a friend or neighbour. People will listen and give you support if you let them know how you're feeling.

It might also help the people you care about. If you open up about your feelings, they might do the same. Even being in other people's company can help.

If you find it too difficult to talk to a loved one, talk to a GP or counsellor.

If you need to talk to someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.ie. Samaritans are available 24 hours a day.

Page last reviewed: 23/09/2018
Next review due: 23/09/2021

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