Anyone can feel lonely. It is common to feel lonely at different points in our lives.
Most of the time, loneliness comes and goes quickly. But it can become a problem if it goes on for a long time.
There are things you can do to prevent and cope with loneliness as you get older.
Feelings of loneliness
Loneliness is not the same as being alone or isolated. It is feeling that you do not have enough connection with the world or other people.
You may want:
- more close connections - such as with a partner or family member
- more social relationships with friends or people who think like you
- to feel more part of the world in general
Loneliness can also include feeling:
- vulnerable
- bored
- a lack of purpose in life
Preventing loneliness
There are things you can do that may make loneliness less likely to happen.
Keep connections inside and outside your home
Try to have contact with others every day.
It can help to:
- think of people you want to stay connected with - around 4 to 6 people is a good target
- have regular contact with the same group of people - this can be through a club or doing an activity together that you enjoy
- stay in contact with people by phone or online - get free computer and smartphone training - ageaction.ie
- have more brief chats - for example, say hello to someone at the shop or start a conversation in a waiting room
Do things you are interested in
Doing something you enjoy can improve your mood and mental health. Having regular activities can give you something to look forward to.
Think about activities you enjoy or something you have always wanted to try. The more interesting you find the activity, the more benefit you'll get.
Examples of activities include:
- going to a local museum, park, cinema or library
- taking a class - learning something new can be good for your confidence
- joining a club or group
- volunteering
- spending time with pets
Care for changes to your senses
Our sense of hearing, vision, touch, smell or taste can decline as we get older. It's most common to have changes to your vision and hearing.
Changes can make it harder to communicate and enjoy activities. This can increase your risk of loneliness. The changes happen gradually, so you may not notice them at first.
Talk to your GP if you notice changes to your senses or balance.
The Treatment Benefit Scheme can help with the cost of eye and hearing care.
Check for signs of hearing loss
Get a hearing test if you find it hard to:
- understand people on the phone
- follow a conversation - it may seem like other people are mumbling
- have a conversation when there is noise in the background or with more than 2 people
- hear the TV or radio
Coping with loneliness
If you often feel lonely, there are things you can do to reduce these feelings. It may take time and support to find what works for you.
It can help to think about:
- the type of loneliness you feel
- connections you can make or improve
- negative thoughts you may have - about yourself, other people or the world in general
- your health and wellbeing
- getting support
Think about how you feel
Think about the type of loneliness you feel and what you would like to improve.
Ask yourself if you would feel less lonely if you had more:
- close connections
- social relationships
- connection with the world in general
Connections you can make or improve
Think about your current relationships and what you would like in an ideal world.
Some people do not need many others around them. Other people want more social contact.
Depending on what you want to improve, you could try to:
- make more connections - such as joining an activity group based on your interests
- change existing relationships - have more contact with people you know
- find small moments of connection during the day - such as saying hello to a neighbour
You may not feel ready to make these connections. It's OK to focus on yourself for a while if you need to.
Negative thoughts
Sometimes we can think in ways that are not helpful.
This may be thinking negatively about yourself, other people or the world. It can help to focus on positive things and ways to feel part of the world.
You could:
- practice mindfulness - pay attention to the present moment
- spend more time in nature - such as in a garden or park
- change your thinking - spot negative thoughts and challenge them
- get talking therapy - where a trained therapist helps you to make positive changes
Look after your health and wellbeing
To look after your health and wellbeing, try to:
- eat well
- sleep well
- do regular physical activity
- stay within the weekly low-risk alcohol guidelines
- do things you find fun - such as watching a funny TV show or keeping up a hobby
These things may not solve loneliness but they will help you to feel better.
Get support for loneliness
If you often feel lonely, it can be hard to change this on your own.
There are services and organisations that can help.
Social prescribing services
Social prescribing connects you with activities and supports in your area. You can get individual support from a social prescriber or link worker.
You can refer yourself or someone else with their consent. To make a referral, contact a service in your area.
Find a social prescribing service - allirelandsocialprescribing.ie
ALONE
National support and referral line for people over 60. You do not need to live alone to access these services.
You can refer yourself or someone else with their consent.
Phone: 0818 222 024, 8am to 8pm every day
Seniorline
Confidential listening service for older people provided by trained older volunteers.
Phone: 1800 804 591, 10am to 10pm every day
Age Friendly Ireland
Programmes and networks to support older people.
Other organisations and services
Other organisations and services that can help you stay connected include:
Causes of loneliness as you get older
Loneliness is not an inevitable part of getting older.
But things that may increase your risk of being lonely when you get older include:
- not having or losing a partner
- having money problems
- having a small social network or low level of social activity
- being treated unfairly - for example, because of your age, race, gender or weight
- having a disability or poor health
- having low mood or depression
- where you live - for example, if you do not have public transport, feel safe or have attractive public spaces