If you are worried that drugs have a negative effect on someone, you can listen to them and offer support.
You can also get support if someone's drug use has a negative effect on your life.
Change is possible. But it may take a while for the person to be ready to change.
Signs that drug use has a negative effect on someone
Most people who use drugs do not develop serious problems. It can be hard to tell if someone has a problem with drug use.
Signs may include if someone:
- has problems with their health, relationships or work
- stops doing things they used to enjoy
- uses drugs before doing everyday things
- often uses more than 1 drug or mixes drugs with alcohol
- has withdrawal symptoms
- is worried about money
Some of these signs can be caused by other problems. Do not assume things. If you are not sure if the person is using drugs, you can ask them directly.
Talking to someone about their drug use
Pick a time when the person is not under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
You could:
- let them know that you care and they can talk to you
- ask them about their drug use - what they like and dislike about it
- explain why you are worried about them - give specific examples
- encourage them to get help
- prepare a list of support options
Avoid words that are judgemental or unkind. Try to ask questions that do not have a yes or no answer. Give them time to think and respond to what you say.
They may be relieved to talk and appreciate your support. But if they refuse to talk, leave it for a while.
Examples of things you could say
- I'm a bit worried about you. How are you doing at the moment?
- How do you feel about your drug use?
- I'm worried that coke is getting you into trouble. What do you think?
- I feel like you are using more ketamine than before. How is it affecting you?
- You seem to be taking benzos more often. Is there a reason for that?
- You seem low. Would you try using less often to see if there is any change in your mood?
- They say that comedowns from MDMA can have a bad effect on mood. Have you noticed a change?
- I felt scared last night when you were shouting. Would you consider looking at how much you are using?
- I noticed you missed work a few times and I'm worried about you. Has your work said anything?
- You don't think it's a big problem but I'm not sure you know about all the negative effects.
- How could I support you to use less often?
- You said you feel anxious a lot. I was wondering if you would talk to someone about that.
- I know you're stressed. Could you try some other ways to relax?
- I can see you’re not ready to talk. But I’m here if you ever need to talk.
If they are not ready to change their use
There may be many reasons why someone is not ready to change their drug use. For example, they may think they cannot relax without drugs. It does not mean they do not care about you.
Continue to talk to the person. You do not need to comment every time you think they take drugs. But let them know how you feel and that you are there for them.
Avoid things that could enable their drug use
Be consistent in what you say and do. If you believe the person has a problem, avoid doing things that could send a confusing message.
It does not help to:
- use drugs around them
- make excuses for their behaviour to other people
- do things for them that are their responsibility
- give them money
- ignore the problem
If their drug use has a negative effect on you
Put yourself and others affected first. Decide what action you want to take for your quality of life or safety.
For example, you may not want to be with them when they use drugs or have drugs in your home.
Tell the person:
- the changes you need from them
- what will happen if they do not respect your boundaries
Get support if you need it
Some drugs services offer support for friends and family of people who use drugs.
For example:
- information and advice on drug dependency and recovery
- courses on ways to cope with challenging behaviour and conflict (non-violent resistance)
- support if you are at risk of threats or violence because of drug debt (drug-related intimidation)
All the services are confidential.
Non-urgent advice: Drugs and alcohol helpline
You can contact the helpline for support, information or advice on treatment and support options.
Freephone: 1800 459 459
Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm
Email: helpline@hse.ie
Supporting someone when they change their drug use
To support someone who is changing their drug use:
- help them to set small and realistic goals
- suggest things you could do together that they do not connect with drugs - ask them what they like to do
- do not force them to do things that make them feel uncomfortable - for example, going to a club or pub too soon
- encourage them to share how they feel
- acknowledge that what they are going through is difficult
- try to notice when things are going well for them and point this out
- celebrate their success with them