Everyone is different. But there are some common reasons why people may self-harm.
Some of the reasons that people may self-harm include:
- expressing or coping with emotional distress
- trying to feel in control
- a way of punishing themselves
- relieving unbearable emotional distress
- a cry for help
- a response to intrusive thoughts
Self-harm may be linked to bad experiences that are happening now, or in the past. But sometimes the reason is unknown.
The reasons can also change over time and will not be the same for everybody.
Self-harming may become a way to release feelings you cannot express or release. You may not know who to turn to for help.
Ways to distract yourself if you're thinking of self-harming
Common causes of emotional distress
Self-harm is most often described as a way to express or cope with emotional distress.
There are many possible causes of emotional distress. It's often a build-up of many smaller things that leads people to think about self-harm.
Causes of emotional distress include:
- being bullied
- pressure or having problems at work or school
- having difficult relationships with friends or family
- confusion about sexual orientation or gender identity
- money worries
- low self-esteem
- dealing with stress, anxiety or depression
- coping with expectations
- physical or sexual abuse
- grief after bereavement or loss
- being in contact with the criminal justice system
- experiencing complex mental health difficulties that sometimes cause impulsive behaviour or difficulty controlling emotions, often due to past trauma
- attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism
Mental health difficulties
Sometimes mental health difficulties can lead a person to self-harm.
You may self-harm if you:
- hallucinate - have repeated thoughts or voices telling you to self-harm
- dissociate - lose touch with who you are and your surroundings
- have borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Express difficult or hidden feelings
Overwhelming feelings can cause you to feel numb or empty. Self-harm may give you a temporary sense of feeling again or a way to express negative emotions. It can turn hidden thoughts or feelings into something visible.
You may also be trying to:
- change emotional pain into physical pain
- escape traumatic memories
- punish yourself for feelings or experiences
- stop feeling numb, disconnected or dissociated
- express suicidal feelings and thoughts without taking your own life
Feeling in control
You may feel self-harm is a way to have a sense of control over your life, feelings, or body. Particularly if you feel other things in your life are out of control.
Self-harm and suicide
There is evidence of a clear link between suicide or thoughts of suicide and people who have self-harmed.
Not everyone who self-harms wants to end their life. Some people describe their self-harm as a way of staying alive by responding to or coping with severe emotional distress.
It's important to find the right support or treatment to help deal with the cause in a less harmful way.
Content supplied by the NHS and adapted for Ireland by the HSE