Anxiety in children

It's normal for children to feel worried or anxious from time to time. For example, when they're starting school or pre-school, or moving to a new area.

But for some children, anxiety affects their behaviour and thoughts every day. It can interfere with their school, home and social life.

This is when you may need professional help to deal with it.

Signs of anxiety in children

Signs to look out for in your child are:

• always worrying or having negative thoughts
• finding it hard to concentrate
• not sleeping, or waking in the night with bad dreams
• not eating properly
• quickly getting angry or irritable, and being out of control during outbursts
• being tense and fidgety
• using the toilet very often
• always crying
• being clingy
• complaining of tummy aches and feeling unwell

It's common for younger children to have separation anxiety.

Older children and young people tend to worry more about school or have social anxiety.

How to help your anxious child

If your child is having problems with anxiety, there are things you can do to help.

The main thing you can do is listen to your child about their anxieties or worries. Show them you think they matter by telling them you can see why they are worried. Tell them there are ways to manage worry and deal with the things they fear.

Doing these things shows them you think they matter.

Your instinct may be to tell them "do not worry, it will never happen". But reassurance is not always the best strategy. Most of the things children worry about are possible, even if some of them seem unlikely.

Tell them you can both learn more about anxiety together. Look at self-help books and online resources.

Where to get help for anxiety

An appointment with your GP is a good place to start.

Talk to your GP on your own or with your child. Your child could also speak to the GP on their own, if they feel comfortable and you give your consent.

There are things you can do to help anxiety at an early stage. This is also known as early intervention. This includes self-help books and learning about managing anxiety in children.

For mild to moderate levels of anxiety your GP may refer you to the local primary care psychology service.

Your child may also be referred to the local child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS). CAMHS can help if your child has not benefited from early intervention, or has severe levels of anxiety.

If your child does not want to see a doctor, they may be able to get help from a local youth counselling service.

Young people age 12 to 25 can get mental health support from Jigsaw. Support is online, or in person if available in your area.

Treatments for anxiety disorders in children

The type of treatment offered will depend on your child's age and the cause of their anxiety. All of the following treatments are offered by the HSE.

Counselling

Counselling can help your child understand what's making them anxious. It can allow them to work through the situation.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

CBT helps your child manage problems by thinking in a more balanced way. It can help them identify and control unhelpful patterns of behaviour.

Cognitive behavioural therapy

Anxiety medicines

Anxiety medicines may be offered to your child if their anxiety is severe, or if talking therapies are not working. These medicines are prescribed by psychiatrists who specialise in child and adolescent mental health.

What causes anxiety in children

Some children are born more anxious and less able to cope with stress than others.

Children can develop anxious thoughts and avoidant behaviours by copying ways other people manage and deal with anxiety. An avoidant behaviour is when someone avoids or leaves a situation that causes them anxiety.

A child's anxiety and avoidant behaviours often continue when they have:

• managed to avoid a stressful situation
• felt relief about avoiding it

The child is then more likely to avoid that situation again.

Some children develop anxiety after stressful events, such as:

• moving house or school often
• parents fighting or arguing
• the death of a close relative or friend
• becoming seriously ill or getting injured
• difficulties at school, such as exams or bullying
• abuse or neglect

Children with severe anxiety can also have other mental health difficulties. Depression is the most common.

Helping a child or young person with depression

Mental health organisations for children and young people

Advice for parents

If you have concerns that your child or teenager is feeling anxious, there are things you can do to help.

Talk to them

If they are willing to talk about their fears and anxieties:

• listen carefully and respectfully
• accept their fears
• do not dismiss or ignore them
• let them know you're there to support them

Ask about their feelings

If they are experiencing a strong emotion, such as anger or fear:

• ask them about it
• listen to them
• do not dismiss their emotions
• show concern for their feelings

You could help them to trace the emotion to where it began. This might help to reduce the overwhelming nature of their feelings.

Problem solving

Problem solving does not mean you should solve the problem for them. Instead, help them break down the problem into smaller pieces.

Help them find possible solutions. Let them think about which one they should try.

Encourage them by reminding them of previous times when they've dealt well with problems.

You should try and:

• focus on the positive
• stay calm

Young people can get lost in their negative thoughts and self-criticism. Try to help them focus on their positive qualities.

Be a good role model

If you're anxious, your child is likely to pick up on your anxiety. They may experience an increase in their own anxiety.

Lead by example. When you think about your child's wellbeing, think about your own too. Look after your own mental health as well.