When a newborn baby joins the family it takes time and patience for other children to adapt to the change.
It can be exciting for a child to welcome their new brother or sister into the family. But it's also normal for children to feel jealous of a new brother or sister.
Some children go back to baby behaviour. A toilet-trained child may wet themselves again or have tantrums.
How you deal with an older child's behaviour is important. They need time and love. You can help your child to deal with and manage their emotions.
Let them know you love them and that they are an important part of the family.
Preparing an older child
There are things you can do to help prepare an older child for the arrival of a new baby.
Do
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talk to children early and often about the new baby
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share the story of when they were born and what they were like as a baby
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let them help you get ready - for example, by chatting about potential names
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read them stories about baby brothers and sisters
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bring them to visit friends who have babies
You can also tell your child:
- what will happen when you go in to have your baby
- who will look after them and where
Tandem feeding
It may be possible to tandem feed (breastfeeding 2 different age siblings) for a while. For information on tandem feeding, contact your local breastfeeding group.
Helping an older child to adapt
It is normal for an older child to be jealous. Their behaviour might change. You may see some difficult behaviours. Some children might show anger, or even a preference for one parent or another at this time.
Make sure to spend time with the older child. Keep up with their routine or activities. Have a chat or play a game. Even 10 minutes of time alone with them is good. This may help to make them feel secure and adjust to their new position in their family.
If you need to make changes in your routine with an older child, do this before the baby arrives. For example, moving into their own bed.
Praise your older child in front of visitors. Think about how visitors could make your older child feel included.
There are ways to help an older child adapt to your new baby.
Do
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give them 1-to-1 time and attention
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keep your family routine as normal as possible
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give them opportunities to be involved - for example, in playing and reading
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do not force them to be too involved
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talk to them when changing nappies and feeding the baby
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share stories about what they were like as a baby
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notice and name your older child when the baby looks in their direction or smiles at them
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have the new baby bring the older child a gift
More support
For advice about coping with your child's behaviour, contact your:
- public health nurse
- GP or practice nurse