We all have times when we do not feel good about ourselves or confident.
But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.
What is self-esteem
Self-esteem is how you feel about your own worth and personal value.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves. It helps us deal with life's ups and downs.
When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.
What causes low self-esteem
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, family, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves.
Sometimes, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you.
Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem.
How low self-esteem affects us
If you have low self-esteem, you may:
- hide from social situations
- stop trying new things
- avoid things you find challenging
Avoiding difficult situations might make you feel safe in short term. But it can teach you that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.
Low self-esteem can become a long-term problem and it can harm your mental health. It can lead to mental health difficulties such as depression and anxiety.
You may also develop unhelpful habits as a way of coping, such as smoking and drinking too much.
Self-confidence and self-esteem
Self-confidence is how you think about yourself and what you think you are capable of. It means you have trust in your own abilities, capacities, and judgment.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are connected. Having low self-esteem can affect the way you feel about yourself and lower your confidence.
But many things make you who you are. These include your personality, background, race, gender, religion, sexual orientation and identity.
Having difficulties accepting yourself for who you are can affect your mental health.
When you have low self-esteem and self-confidence, you may:
- compare yourself negatively to other people
- criticise yourself a lot
- feel less worthy
- rely too much on other's feedback
Ways to improve your self-esteem and confidence
Whatever worries or negative thoughts you have, there is always something you can do to try to feel better.
Do
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focus on your values - think about the good things you like about yourself and the things you have done that make you feel good
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make decisions based on your needs
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choose realistic goals and set small steps to achieve them
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talk to someone to get a different view and see things clearer
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keep a gratitude journal and list 5 things you feel grateful for each day
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try doing 3 nice things a day for others - you will feel good doing them
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make sure you have fun and do things you enjoy - you will feel happier about yourself
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learn from mistakes and think about what you might do differently
Don't
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do not rely only on other's people feedback or on negative comparisons
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do not criticise yourself