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If your child uses alcohol or drugs

Many young people experiment with alcohol and drugs and do not develop any issues. But if your child often gets drunk or high, it could be a sign of a problem.

It can help to make a plan on how to deal with things.

Find out what to do if:

  • your child is drunk or high
  • you think your child uses alcohol or drugs
  • you think your child has a problem with alcohol or drugs
Information:

If your young child has accidentally swallowed alcohol, follow our advice on poisoning in children.

If your child is drunk or high

It can be frightening to see your child affected by alcohol or drugs.

Do

  • stay calm and reassure them

  • try to keep their surroundings quiet

  • find out what they took

  • stay with them - blood alcohol can continue to rise for a time after someone stops drinking

  • check for signs of alcohol poisoning

  • keep checking on them even when they feel better

Don't

  • do not try to talk about their alcohol or drug use - wait until they are sober

Information:

If someone is unresponsive or unconscious, put them in the recovery position.

Urgent advice: Call your GP or 112 or 999 if:

  • you are worried about your child

Talking about what happened

Find a time to have a private talk to:

  • find out what happened
  • give them useful information

Wait until your child is sober and you are both calm.

Find out what happened

Ask your child what happened, for example:

  • Did you know how much you were drinking?
  • Did you plan to get drunk?
  • Where did you get the alcohol or drugs?
  • Did you feel worried or under pressure?
  • Were you in any risky situations - walking on dark roads or at risk of being taken advantage of sexually?
  • How did the alcohol or drugs affect you?

Give them useful information

Think about what your child needs to know so that it does not happen again.

Give them information based on what they tell you. Help them find their own reasons not to get drunk or high.

You could talk about:

  • the amount of alcohol in different drinks
  • how it’s dangerous to mix drinks or drink very quickly
  • the risks of accidents and injuries
  • how alcohol and drugs affect how they make decisions
  • the health risks of alcohol and drugs
  • your rules around alcohol and going out

Talking to your child about alcohol

If you think your child may use alcohol or drugs

If you think your child may use alcohol or drugs, do not ignore it. Check for signs of alcohol or drug use.

Make a plan on how to talk to them. You may need to have several conversations.

Do

  • ask them open questions about their life and feelings

  • let them know that you care and they can talk to you about alcohol or drugs

  • listen to your child's opinion - try not to get angry or interrupt

  • use examples without blaming alcohol or drug use - for example, I was worried when you were sick the other morning

  • remind them that you expect them not to use alcohol and drugs and give the reasons why

  • ask them why they tried alcohol or drugs - if they say they did

  • be prepared for negative reactions - your child may get aggressive or deny the problem

  • review your rules around the money or freedom they have if they show they cannot behave in a safe way

  • leave it for a while if they do not want to talk

  • get support if you need it

Don't

  • do not assume things - they may know more or less about alcohol or drugs than you think

  • do not accuse them of using drugs or drinking alcohol - even if you suspect they have

Signs of alcohol or drug use

If your child's behaviour changes, it does not always mean they use alcohol or drugs. Some changes are common for young people. For example, mood swings or giving up hobbies.

Possible signs of alcohol and drug use include:

  • having new friends or less contact with old friends
  • moods changes or a bad attitude
  • short periods of being giddy and energetic
  • a crash in mood after weekends out with friends
  • problems sleeping, getting up very late or drowsiness
  • problems in school
  • losing interest in school, hobbies or things they used to enjoy
  • poor hygiene or appearance
  • staying out late or hiding where they go
  • headaches or vomiting in the morning
  • loss of appetite
  • red eyes or a runny nose
  • money or alcohol missing from your home
  • having unusual equipment, such as grinders or bongs
  • smell of alcohol on their breath
  • smell of cannabis on their clothes
  • having money problems or selling their belongings

If your child has an alcohol or drug problem

Your child may not think they have a problem. It can take time for someone to decide to change.

Continue to have open conversations. This can help them to see things in another way.

You could:

  • ask them about their use - what they like and dislike about it
  • tell them the effect their use has on you and your family
  • explain why you are worried - give specific examples
  • find practical ways to reduce their use - for example, give them less money or remove alcohol from your home
  • offer support
  • tell them about treatment options and encourage them to get help

Support for alcohol and drug use

There are organisations that can help with alcohol and drug use.

You can get support for you and your child.

Some services offer support if your child refuses to get help. For example, courses on non-violent resistance.

Drugs and alcohol helpline

Our helpline for support, information or advice on treatment options.

Freephone: 1800 459 459 - Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm
Email: helpline@hse.ie

Parentline

A confidential helpline for support, information and guidance.

Phone: 01 873 3500 - Monday to Thursday, 10am to 9pm and Friday, 10am to 7pm
Email: info@parentline.ie
parentline.ie

Page last reviewed: 13 August 2024
Next review due: 13 August 2027