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Talking to your child about alcohol

Have regular and open conversations about alcohol with your child. This will help them to make informed decisions as they get older.

Information:

This information is for talking to someone under age 18 who does not have a problem with alcohol.

If your child uses alcohol or drugs

How to talk to an adult about their problem drinking

Find ways to start the conversation

You do not need to sit down and have a specific talk with your child. Use opportunities as they come up.

For example, if you see someone drunk on a TV show, ask your child what they think.

Give information for their age

You can give more detailed information as your child gets older. Do not try to scare them. They may not listen if they think you are exaggerating the risks.

Under age 4

You do not need to talk to very young children about alcohol. But if your child asks a question, answer it in a simple way.

Very young children learn things by watching their parents and other adults. You can show them how you want them to behave by limiting alcohol use around them.

Age 4 to 7

Give simple information about the effects of alcohol. For example, it makes it harder to make decisions and do things well.

Explain that alcohol is not for children because they are still growing.

Age 8 to 11

Give more detailed information about the effects of alcohol.

You can talk about:

  • short-term effects - such as confusion and problems controlling your body
  • what happens after you drink - such as hangovers and feeling down
  • long-term effects - such as problems with school, or damage to your liver or heart
  • how it's OK to say no to your friends when you do not want to do something

Age 12 to 17

Young people at this age can be under a lot of pressure. Listen to them and let them know you are on their side.

Make it clear that you do not want them to drink alcohol while they are under 18 and explain why.

Give specific information on the risks of alcohol and how to stay safe.

Preventing problem alcohol use in young people

Reasons not to drink

Talk about the effects of alcohol. But help them find their own reasons not to drink.

For example, how drinking can affect:

  • decision-making and control - they may do something they'll regret
  • school work or sports performance
  • their brain and mental health
  • their image and what other people think of them

How much they drink

It's safer not to drink at all but make sure they understand:

  • how to count a standard drink - for example, half a pint of beer
  • different drinks have different strengths
  • the amount of alcohol can vary in mixed drinks and drinks other people give them
  • small amounts of alcohol can have a strong effect
  • the same amount of alcohol can affect people in different ways
  • the same amount of alcohol can affect the same person in a different way at different times

Alcohol and sex

Alcohol affects the ability to make decisions.

Explain that someone who is drunk:

  • may take more risks - such as having unprotected sex
  • cannot give consent to have sex

Sexual consent - sexualwellbeing.ie

What to say when they disagree

Listen to your child's opinion. But do not change your rules if you do not want to.

Prepare what you can say if they disagree, for example:

Everyone else is going

I know you feel left out. But it’s my job to keep you safe. I’m not happy about you being there with no adults when people are going to be drinking.

I can look after myself, I’m not stupid

I know you’re not stupid. That’s why I’m letting you go. But if you want that freedom, you have to stay in contact with me so I know that you’re safe.

Everyone else will be bringing cans

I know you feel left out, but you can still have a good time without drinking. I’m not going to give you alcohol while you’re underage. Drinking is an unhealthy thing for you to do.

You don’t understand - it’s not a big deal

I do understand why you want to drink. And I know it can be fun. People get hurt and injured every day and do things they regret when they’re drunk. I care about you and I’m not going to put you in that position. You can have fun without alcohol.

Page last reviewed: 13 August 2024
Next review due: 13 August 2027