How to help someone dependent on alcohol

Someone can be dependent on alcohol but have a seemingly normal family and social life.

They may also manage to do their job. They may not drink every day, but problems are still there.

If someone is dependent on alcohol, they may become defensive if you suggest they have a problem.

Accepting there is a problem means accepting they may need to change.

How to manage better

Problem drinking can cause difficulties in your home including:

• strained relationships
• financial worries
• a lack of structure and routine
• increased anxiety or low mood
• health problems

Dealing with problem drinking can feel overwhelming. It can affect how household routines works.

To help you manage this difficult situation, try to:

• get support - talk to someone you trust
• contact a support organisation for families
• recognise and understand the effect alcohol may be having on you and others
• find ways to cope - to reduce the harm to you and other family members

Help them to accept there is a problem

Not accepting the problem is one of the main things that stops someone from getting help.

Sometimes a person who is dependent on alcohol does not believe their drinking is causing problems.

Tell them how their drinking behaviour is affecting you and others. Use examples to explain.

Give the person time and space to consider your concerns. They may start to see the harms of their alcohol use for themselves.

Practical things you can do to help

It may take a few attempts to begin a real conversation with your loved one about their drinking.

If the conversation does not happen right away, try to keep communication open. Be supportive, if you can, rather than accusing or blaming them.

When you do get to talk, tell them how they might deal with the problem. Explain how you could help.

For example, you could offer to:

• set up an appointment with their GP
• go to appointments with them - if they would like that
• sit with them while they call a helpline for advice
• help them make a concrete plan, with details of the changes they’ll make and how
• help them find local support services and peer support, if needed
• plan activities with them that do not involve drinking

How to talk to someone about their drinking

Making changes for your wellbeing

It is important to be open and honest with the person about your worries. But it is their choice to drink alcohol.

If they continue to drink in a harmful way, you may need to make changes in your life for your safety and quality of life.

Tell the person:

• how these changes will affect them
• the changes you need from them
• what the consequences are if they do not take action