Social anxiety is an overwhelming fear of social situations. It can be long-lasting.
It usually starts during the teenage years. For some, it gets better as they get older. For many, it does not go away without treatment.
It can be very distressing and have a big impact on your life. But there are ways to help you deal with it.
Symptoms of social anxiety
Social anxiety is more than shyness.
Many people worry about social situations from time to time. Someone with social anxiety feels very worried before, during and after social situations.
Their fear does not go away. It can affect everyday activities, self-confidence, relationships and work or school life.
You may have social anxiety if you:
- worry about everyday activities - such as meeting strangers, starting conversations, speaking on the phone, working or shopping
- avoid or worry a lot about social activities - such as group conversations, eating with other people and parties
- always worry about doing something you think is embarrassing - such as blushing, sweating or not doing something properly
- find it difficult to do things when others are watching
- fear criticism, avoid eye contact or have low self-esteem
- often have symptoms such as feeling sick, sweating, shaking, or panic attacks in social situations
Many people with social anxiety also have other mental health difficulties, such as:
- depression
- anxiety
- body dysmorphic disorder (anxiety about how they look)
Dealing with social anxiety
Social anxiety can be difficult to deal with, but there are things you can try yourself.
Self-help might not cure your social anxiety, but it may reduce it. You might find it a useful first step before trying other treatments.
Understand your anxiety
Try to understand more about your anxiety. Think about what goes through your mind and which social situations you find the most difficult.
Think about how you act in these situations. This will help you get a clearer idea of the specific areas or triggers that are most difficult for you.
Beliefs and assumptions
Question what you believe and assume about a situation. Ask yourself if this could be untrue.
For example, when you feel a social situation went badly, ask yourself if the whole situation went badly or just part of it. Think if there are any facts to support this or if you're assuming the worst.
Move your attention
You might think or fear you are blushing, sweating, talking or behaving nervously. But other people may not notice.
Try to pay attention to people, things, sounds and sights outside of you. This can help you to stop feeling self-conscious.
Break things down into smaller steps
Break down challenging situations into smaller parts and work on feeling more relaxed with each part.
When to get help for social anxiety
Talk to your GP if you think you have social anxiety and it's having an impact on your life. It's common and there are treatments that can help.
Asking for help can be difficult. Your GP will be aware that many people struggle with social anxiety and will try to put you at ease.
Your GP will ask you about your feelings, behaviours and symptoms.
If they think you may have social anxiety, they will find out what you need and talk about treatments.
Your GP might recommend talk therapy and explain how to get it. They can also refer you to a healthcare professional. They may prescribe medicine.
Treatments for social anxiety
Several treatments are available for social anxiety.
Talk therapy
Talk therapy involves talking to a trained therapist to support you to deal with negative thoughts and feelings. This can help to influence what happens in the present and the choices you make.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that works well for treating social anxiety. But other treatments may help if CBT does not work or you do not want to try it. Some people need to try a combination of treatments.
Supported self-help CBT
Guided self-help involves using CBT-based books or an online mental health service with some support from a therapist.
Group CBT
Social Anxiety Ireland runs a 14-week CBT course in Dublin for young people age 16 to 19.
Youth intervention programme - socialanxietyireland.com
Antidepressant medicine
This is usually a type of medicine called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). Ask your GP for the best options for you.
Social anxiety in children
Social anxiety can also affect children.
Signs of social anxiety in a child include:
- crying more than usual
- often complaining of feeling unwell - nausea, headaches, dizziness
- often having a tantrum, for example, shouting, screaming, or kicking, before a social event or activity
- not talking to and avoiding eye contact with other children and adults
- fear of going to school or taking part in classroom activities or events
- not asking for help at school
Anxiety makes the world feel unpredictable or unsafe.
Children with anxiety are more likely to turn to their parent or carer for security and reassurance. They may rely on their parents to make decisions or to feel safe.
If your child has an intense fear (phobia) of talking in certain situations, they may have selective mutism.
Helping a child with social anxiety
Talk to your GP if you're worried about your child. Your GP will ask you about your child's difficulties and talk to them about how they feel.
Treatments for social anxiety in children are like those for young people and adults. But medicines are not normally used.
What treatment your GP recommends depends on your child's age and how anxiety is affecting them.
Therapy will often involve help from you. You may get training and self-help materials to use between sessions. It may also take place in a small group.
Content supplied by the NHS and adapted for Ireland by the HSE